APRIL 5, 2031 – PARADISE BAR – KOH CHANG DISTRICT, THAILAND So, you see—another Diet Coke, thanks—it really started out as an experiment. This was long before politics, too. I guess one way to put it would be that I wanted to test the limits of confidence and self-belief. I wanted to see if you […]
McKAY: Our next guest is without a doubt one of my favorite comedians working today. He has completed two world tours, won three Primetime Emmy Awards, and starred in seven stand-up comedy specials. His latest special, I Don’t Care, Cancel Me, is in theaters now, featuring a sold-out show at Boston’s TD Garden in front
For over a month, critics of President John D. Seevers have accused his administration of using deceptive language to disguise predatory political policies as positive ones. The language in question has been variously referred to across publications as “trickery,” “chicanery,” and “sophistry.” In addition to the previously mentioned characterizations, the language has been most frequently
DECEMBER 6, 1994 – After three decades of dictatorial rule by the Mangwana family, the Central African nation of Badondo is under new leadership. A coup d’état led by the Badondolese military on Sunday saw President Jean-Obasi Mangwana deposed and arrested in the capital city of Ikhala. The Mangwana regime attracted international scrutiny for its
LAKE STREET ELEMENTARY REGISTER – Mrs. Thornton’s second-grade class has staged several protests since last week concerning controversial actions by Playground President Bobby Blankenburg. Beginning last Tuesday, Bobby has demanded that his classmates bring him all worms and “cool-looking” rocks found during recess. The drama began when JD Thomas found an unusually long earthworm underneath
White House insiders revealed Sunday that President John D. Seevers attempted to declare a national state of emergency concerning the threat of anti-white racism. The proposed declaration’s title, “Opposing the Ongoing White Genocide,” refers to the President’s recurring concerns about an alleged large-scale plot to effectively erase members of the white race from the country.
The National Football League announced Wednesday that Arizona Cardinals running back Tevin Smalls Jr. would face a four-game suspension for his recent behavior off the field. Smalls was arrested last week on charges of criminal conspiracy, breaking and entering, and assault, and was able to walk free after posting a $250,000 bail. Police reports indicate
The disciplinary actions of an elementary school in Mississippi have left several of its students’ parents angry and concerned. “This isn’t what we signed up for at all,” said one student’s mother, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of what the school’s administration might do to her son. “My child came to this school
The day has finally come! Patriots, revolutionaries, defenders of the American way–come one, come all! Come celebrate the grand unveiling of Dreamland™ Theme Park with us this Fourth of July! Situated right in our great nation’s capital, Dreamland is your one-way ticket to good old freedom-loving family fun! If you love your stars and bars,
In an unprecedentedly expedient flurry of nominations, President-elect John D. Seevers has tapped all prospective members of his cabinet in one fell swoop. Several of his picks, which were announced on Monday, have raised questions about the President-elect’s judgment and habit of rewarding loyalty over competency. Nominations that have come under scrutiny include: Secretary of
