Man in cap, fake news awareness.

Fake News: Awareness Awareness

Jake Crumb of Casa Grande, Arizona is not your average teenager. The 19-year-old Arizona State University student recently achieved social media infamy for his popular “Awareness Awareness” Instagram, X, and Facebook pages, the core platform of which he refers to as “anti-activism.” The Awareness Awareness Facebook page’s description describes the goal of the “revolutionary movement” as “revolting against revolt, campaigning against campaigns, and protesting protest. Beware the wary!”

Our journalists met with Crumb in his dorm room to discuss his unique philosophy. The young firebrand began by acknowledging that, despite his disdain for the Black Lives Matter movement, its impact was directly responsible for the ideas behind Awareness Awareness.

“If there’s anything at all to like about Black Lives Matter, its the fact that it paved the way for All Lives Matter,” said Crumb. “The people who respond to ‘black lives matter’ with ‘all lives matter’ believe the same thing I do, which is that activism is divisive. That’s, like, a fact of life. If you say, ‘let’s help this specific group of people,’ you have no choice but to say, at the same time, ‘let’s forget about everyone else while we help that one group.’ It’s so hypocritical. It’s disgusting, really, and that goes for a lot more movements and causes than Black Lives Matter. Take Autism Speaks and the greater autism awareness community for example. What, so now people without autism don’t deserve awareness? I’m like, be aware of me!”

When asked to explain the meaning behind ‘Awareness Awareness,’ Crumb jumped at the chance. “I’m so glad you asked. It’s simple: Awareness Awareness spreads awareness about awareness. Awareness awareness, in all fairness, is of a certain, shall we say, rareness. Before Awareness Awareness, awareness awareness suffered from spareness; even threadbareness. Sherri [our reporter’s name], the threat of being wary is a very, very scary adversary, and the primary method of parry is to bury any chances of justice being miscarried. You’ll find that contemporary commentary finds our mission necessary, legendary, and extraordinary.” It is unclear whether Crumb rehearsed his response. Additionally, our journalists have yet to determine if by “contemporary commentary” he was referring to the ample praise Awareness Awareness receives on social media from its own members.

Seeking to discover whether there were any movements or causes (other than awareness awareness) that Crumb agreed with, our reporter questioned him about several with contemporary traction.

His thoughts on the #MeToo movement? “Ostracizes women who haven’t been harassed.” Breast Cancer Awareness? “Attacks the cancer-free.” The Sierra Club? “Too Earth-centric.” Save the Children? “Yeah, right. Adults don’t need saving?” And finally, how about the World Wildlife Fund? “Unfairly prioritizes endangered species, as if unendangered species don’t deserve a fund too. I mean, just look at the extremely divisive language they use. An animal species facing no threat of endangerment is classified as ‘Least Concern’? Seriously? Hello, I’m concerned! In fact, I’m very concerned!”

Crumb says Awareness Awareness’ next objective is to take on the “exclusionary and, frankly, evil” Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Featured photo/image by Glocctv from Pixabay.