Controversial business magnate Randall Dryden-Foster announced via X (formerly known as Twitter) on Sunday that he and several associates were in the final stages of establishing the Billionaire Defense Fund, an organization he referred to as an FFP, or a “fully for profit” organization.
Dryden-Foster, who is popularly known as RDF, was crowned the fourth-richest person in the world in January following a record financial year at electronics and home appliance giant Superba, of which he is the founder and CEO. Despite his mammoth success, Dryden-Foster admitted through a series of X posts that he feels “as persecuted as Jesus, perhaps more.”
“I’m starting the Billionaire Defense Fund because billionaires like myself are essentially an endangered species,” read one post. “I very seriously doubt that most of those reading this message can even fathom the daily turmoil that I, as a rightfully wealthy man, experience. Every day it’s ‘billionaires shouldn’t exist, tax the rich, eat the rich.’ Why can’t it ever be ‘love the rich’ or ‘do unto the rich as you would have them do unto you’? Am I not the same as you, just vastly superior?”
Perhaps the inchoate organization’s most divisive characteristic is that it seeks public funding. When asked by an X user why “the fourth-richest man on the planet won’t finance his own business ventures,” Dryden-Foster parried the attack in a matter of minutes: “Just listen to yourself. Would a tree donate to Greenpeace?”
For all of the Billionaire Defense Fund’s critics and lampooners, many of Dryden-Foster’s X followers are outspoken supporters of its creation. “It’s about time somebody said it,” wrote one of them. “The rich and successful shouldn’t have to apologize to us commoners for being rich and successful! I, for one, am glad that we have people like the GOAT CEO RDF to lead us through all of this needlessly spiteful nonsense…billionaires are just like us, only better!”
By Tuesday, just two days after the announcement, a small group of anticapitalist protesters had already assembled outside Superba’s headquarters in Pasadena, California. Our reporters spoke with the participants.
“The wealthy’s endless greed and thirst for power can’t get any more obvious than this,” said Samara Cooper, a protester holding a picket sign reading “RDF Cares Only About Himself.” “To call billionaires an endangered species is beyond delusional. He has no struggle. He has no worry. He is in the top one-percent of all humanity in terms of financial security, yet has the nerve to insist that he’s one of us. It’s sickening.”
George Kent, a middle-aged man equipped with a Superba t-shirt and a megaphone, was the sole counter-protester. “Can you believe these looneys?” asked Kent to our reporter. “We need guys like RDF! We need to protect our billionaires, not shun them! Listen, I live in a trailer and survive paycheck to paycheck–I clearly can’t make my own choices. We need people who have made better life decisions to lay the path for us. They have our best interests in mind!”
Featured image/photo by Mitch on Unsplash.