A Confederacy of Suck-Ups

Vice President of the United States JD Vance, who is President Donald Trump’s right-hand man in all of his affairs, once sang a very different tune than his current one. Leading up to Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign, Vance referred to his future shot-calling companion as an “idiot” and “reprehensible.” He even admitted to sometimes thinking of him as “America’s Hitler.” Trump’s second closest (although it’s arguable that his influence surpasses Vance’s) partner-in-crime, Elon Musk, has a similar story. Musk, head of a government department that Trump established specifically for him, openly refused to support his first bid for office. Today, he’ll go so far as to say that he loves the President.

What could be the reason for the sharp shifts in these two men’s attitudes toward Trump? We know very well that Trump himself, the most polarizing president in United States history, hasn’t changed much since 2016. Add to this that the divide between his supporters and detractors today is perhaps even wider now than it was then, and the matter becomes even more puzzling. If Trump’s rhetoric and beliefs haven’t changed over time, but rather intensified, what could cause people who were once his critics to become his most ardent believers?

If you guessed “the all-corrupting allure of power and influence,” you’re right on the money. For all his pomp and circumstance, the President is an astonishingly simple man. He’ll like you as long as you like him. In the incumbent presidential administration, there is no greater asset than blind, unthinking, unwavering loyalty. In federal job screenings, applicants have been asked when their “MAGA revelation” took place. Applicants’ willingness to speak in favor of mass deportations (many of which have been patently unlawful) and deny the verifiable results of the 2020 election has also been gauged.

The Trump administration’s overwhelming emphasis on conformism—rather than qualification or capability—makes clear that it offers an unparalleled opportunity for career advancement to America’s most spineless suck-ups. No skills, smarts, or original thoughts? No problem—in fact, you just might be overqualified. Vance, Musk, and every other born-again MAGA Machiavellian simply spied opportunity, seized it, and never looked back. As craven and morally bankrupt as this is, it can’t be denied that the prospect of fame, fortune, and power for the low price of unflinching sycophancy is attractive. The caveat is just that the country is run by hideously unqualified cowards.

This legion of yes-men and their despotic overseer, then, stand for nothing at all save for their own professional and social elevation. The tremendous irony of it all is that their pedestrian supporters believe them to be working day and night for them, the working-class American everyman. So, what do you get when an army of unprincipled social climbers successfully convince the poor, uneducated masses to bend to their every whim? Easy—you get a president who admits on record that he “love[s] the poorly educated” for being the “smartest” and “most loyal people.” He’s an open book if nothing else.

Featured image courtesy of Pixabay.

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