Performative Men–men who flaunt their style, or interest in gendered issues as a way to impress women–have started to gain prominence on social media.
You may have seen this social media trend that’s popped up in recent months: People making fun of these kinds of men for a seemingly desperate, attention seeking disposition.
A caricature has been created. The tote bag wearing, book wielding, indie music listening man, who does everything he can to let you know just how much he understands the issues that many women are facing.
This kind of performance was even addressed in the Barbie movie. I’m sure many guitar playing guys (like myself) felt a little embarrassed when all the Kens sat on the beach, playing the infamous “Wonderwall” for the Barbies. Each of the Kens sat around a bonfire, playing their guitars for Barbies who looked more and more disinterested.
I’ll be honest, a large part of the reason I’ve felt called to analyze this is because I’ve been called out. I love to play my guitar, write and share poetry; I’m a Women’s Gender and Sexuality studies student, alongside journalism. I’ll be the first to talk to you about the music I like and show you my collection of books and vinyl records. Friends have even poked fun at me for these interests and hobbies, and the way that I align with this caricature of the performative man. At times I’ve felt like I can’t talk about these interests without being made fun of. I’m all for a silly social media trend, but I’d like to dive into the societal work that this seemingly inconsequential phenomena can really do.
Labeling any attempt made by men to understand and connect with women or break away from what we may think of as typical masculinity as performative, I believe, is harmful. It’s a way to police expression and further the pervasion of traditional gender roles in everyday life.
Calling out men for manipulative behavior that comes at the expense of women and other marginalized communities is important–on the flip side, however, a trend like this can work against itself, simply reinforcing gendered expectations.
Living life as an out trans-man since the age of seventeen, I’ve become acutely aware of how people are taught to dance when it comes to gender. What you like, how you talk, how you dress–it’s all under a very watchful eye. And the subtle, sometimes passive messaging people receive about how you’re supposed to “do” your gender, from social media or otherwise, can lead us to self-police our own gender expression.
I find the theory of the panopticon, originally conceptualized by Jeremy Benthem in the late 18th century, interesting in this context. Benthem designed a prison which had a watchtower in the center. Essentially, the thought was that the prisoners would stay in line, because of the knowledge that they were being always watched. Even if there weren’t a guard occupying the watchtower, they would still self-correct–they couldn’t see if anybody was watching. The possibility that they were being watched was enough.
Social media, in this case, can serve as the watchtower inadvertently. A reminder that we are always (we think) under surveillance. That we can never be “doing” our gender quite right. It’s frustrating.
We all face the same kind of messaging on social media, regardless of gender: beauty tips, health fads, advertisements for products. It works to sort us into our “proper place.” This kind of trend, I believe, can serve the same purpose; it can work to feed misplaced anger and feelings of inadequacy that push young men down a pipeline to bigotry.
Social media is something often used passively, but it’s an incredibly active tool in shaping culture. Even a trend like this can have a greater impact than one might think.
Featured image/photo by Sammyayot254 on Unsplash.